I’m Listening

Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:6 (MSG) 

Tuesday.

I really didn’t want to get up that early. And I really really didn’t want to drive that far. And I really, really, really had a whole list of things to do that day already.

But the email had come in that previous Friday, and while I had never been able to accept an invitation, this was one I could actually make.

I knew I would have to go alone, everyone else would be working on a Tuesday morning.

However, this little part of me knew, I needed to be there. I wasn’t sure why. I could do homework, get my errands done early, send emails… do homework…

But I woke up at 5:30 Tuesday morning to make sure I could get Reyna out and comfortable. I dressed and gathered everything I would need for afterwards, when I started running all my “actual” errands.

The whole time the thoughts of “do you really want to do this” came into my mind followed by a quick rebuttal of, “I need to go.”

To be honest, I knew I wanted to go. But did I really need to go? Was it really worth the time I would be setting aside? … I mean I could worship here at home while listening to the Radio or Spotify….

Go. 

Okay, I am going.

In rush hour traffic down 71-S I almost turned around, “I’ll never get there in time.”

Keep going.

Okay, I am going.

And I arrived at 104.9 The River Radio station seven minutes early.

The invitation had been to a small, early morning concert featuring Chris McClarney and Pancakes provided by Chris Cakes (side note- I am not sure what or who Chris Cakes is but the gentleman serving them and the pancakes themselves were 10/10!!)

I quickly made a friend, and we bonded over talk of pancakes, life and travel and how we almost didn’t come. (Her son just backpacked through Macedonia and Albania- which are on my list and now I have first-hand insight! AND I provided her information to pass along to him on visiting Iceland and the free stopovers 🙋🏻‍♀️ ✈️)

And if the pancakes and travel talk were not enough to convince me that I was where I needed to be, worship started and Chris shared a story.

And that is when I heard it. The word I had been sent to hear.

Chris told us in the seats about how he had first started writing music for his record. He had all these songs. And he didn’t feel like they were good enough. So he prayed. He explained to God that he wanted to give Him the best of the best, Chris asked God for the songs of Heaven in which to worship him.

In not so many words Chris told us that God said… no.

Chris explained that God spoke into his heart that He already has the songs of heaven, what He was wanting from Chris- were the songs of Chris.

Chris explained that God’s put a gift in each of us, not because He wants us to be a repetition of a supposed perfection but because He knows that through us that gift is one of a kind and could never be replicated.

As Chris told his story, I heard my own. I have been writing this past week… and erasing… and rewriting and wondering is it good enough? Is it there? I don’t know God, I just don’t feel like its any good.

And while Chris talked, I listened.

I don’t want “good” words. I don’t want words which fit a scale of 1-10. I want Brittany’s words.

I don’t to hear everyone else tell the story. I don’t want to hear heaven tell the story. I wrote the story, and I want to hear Brittany tell the story. I have put it in YOU for this very purpose. 

The word I had been sent to hear.

If I hadn’t been willing to listen, I would have missed it. If I hadn’t accepted the invitation, I would never have slowed down enough. I would probably still be wrestling with the “good enough” and “not good enough” battle.

Now, when the battle comes to the door, I stop and I listen.

At the end of the message and worship session, Chris McClarney played a new song, which along with his other songs I highly recommend. The title?

I’m Listening.

I am providing a link here I’m Listening Chris McClarney Hollyn

I encourage you to listen and prepare. The word you’re waiting on, is coming, if not already here.

In the meantime thank you 104.9 for slowing me down, thank you Chris Cakes for the pancakes and thank you Chris McClarney for sharing the gift God placed in you.

And thank you to Fimpli on Unsplash for great image up top!

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